Oh Dear

Well, we spent two weeks up north, one at a Lake Sunapee in New Hampshire and one in Hingham, MA, the town where I grew up and where my parents still live.  It was a perfect climax to summer, swimming every day, going to the beach or pool, lots of ice cream, lots of playing, lots of reading.  Elsa really and truly learned how to swim, jumping off the diving board at my parents' neighbors' pool, and swimming all the way to the shallow end unassisted.  David was able to paddle around in his life preserver, then he actually figured out how to kind of dog paddle without it. 

Then we came back, and slam, Elsa is now a first grader at Black Mountain Primary.  She likes it, I am heartbroken.  It's a combination of not being ready for this lovely summer to be over, not liking the school, and not wanting to send her off for most of her waking life.  I have lots of complaints about the school--not enough recess, a discipline system that focuses on plastic toy rewards, too may sugary snacks, drizzle causing indoor recess where the kids watched a television program (that one is the worst)...I am going to look at the Montessori school tomorrow, which is in Asheville, and not a perfect option, and Elsa is very much against it. 

I am not too into it either, really.   It feels like all this neat stuff that we did is basically over.  School starts at 8:00, and is over at 2:30, but we are not out of there until at 3:00 (signing her out as a walker is ridiculously time consuming).  Then we walk back to the car, which I park near a church with a big field, and the kids run around for a while, and we don't get back until 4:00.  (Owing to the very short recess, I feel like this running around time is completely critical.)  Elsa and David play outside a little, and take care of the rabbits, but before we know it it is time for dinner and the race for bedtime.  I want to have plenty of time to read to them, so we try to start early...but that is it.

No time to take nature walks and set up the Nature Table.  No time to take her with me to the library.  No time to collect poke berries and attempt to make dyes and paints with them.  No time to go apple picking.  No time for her chores, really.  No time to have her help me put up the harvest (such as it is this year), and activity she loves.  No time to do all the Christmas crafting that we have done before.  Not enough time for her to run and use her body the way she has been accustomed. 

And I know, I am going to have a baby.  I know that school is what kids do.  I know that Jesse and I went to public school (I would argue both that it is different now and that I was affected somewhat negatively by it).   I know that people who love me don't think homeschooling is a good option.