A Day Off

I have been having a rough time lately.  I have been feeling blue and sick and tired and frustrated and uncreative (aside from the life that I am sort of creating or at least holding for now.)  I told Jesse that I needed a day off...a total day off.  And he agreed--yesterday, Jesse took care of breakfast, then we all went to the Tailgate Market...I wasn't supposed to mind children, but David wasn't feeling great so it was too much to ask Jesse to take him, since he was following me around, occasionally weeping...but then, I was done.  Elsa had a play date, and Jesse took David on various errands, and I literally lay down all day.  Of course I had organizing, gardening and preserving plans for the day, but none of that happened.  I may have done a little laundry, but nothing else productive.  I hung out on Facebook for way too long, read some books and got caught up on reading the New Yorker.  I felt kind of yucky, and was glad when Elsa, back from her day out with her friend and Daddy, proposed an after dinner walk.  We walked down to the Greenway barefoot, heard some neighbors playing music, and just barely arrived back before dark.  At the end of the day, I did feel fairly gross, having been lying around all day.

But the thing is, today, I was better.  The unshakable cold finally seems to be receding.  I am not contemplating anti-depressants (I actually talked to my doctor about how blue I was feeling.)  I worked in the garden while the kids played in the kiddie pool, cleaned the chicken coop, did more laundry (laundry seems to be an incredible issue...I am a bit worried about what is going to happen with the addition of one more probably spitty and poopy little one do the mix...maybe when summer is over my children won't become gigantic dirt balls by the end of the day...), planted a butterfly bush in our "rose" (leafless thorn) garden, made a pie with the kids, froze the last quart of tomato sauce, and, most importantly, did not yell at Jesse all day (I think...I hope).  David and I had a conversation about the Civil War and why Native Americans didn't like it when the White settlers came on their land.   I am feeling more sanguine about Elsa's schooling...either I will homeschool her, or I will make an effort to take on, in diplomatic fashion of course, what I think are the problems with the public school.  Elsa is not the only one who deserves to get outside more and not to get pushed to read before she is ready.  At any rate, my worries do not feel like they are going to prevent me from actually enjoying my time with my family.   It's amazing what a little rest can do.