Thanksgiving

Today Dumpling and I were at a friend's house, watching while she got a jump from the Triple A.  As usual, Dumpling was totally enthralled.  He went straight up to him and told him that "Eemah and
Babba were at my house but they had to go home."  Eemah and Babba are Jesse's parents, and we hadn't seen them since March, and it was so, so nice.  The children did not need any time to get reacquainted.

The week was full.  (I love the expression on Dumpling's face here-he wants to eat the pie crust.)  There were lots of stories, lots of singing, LOTS of cooking, lots of playing (Eemah is totally willing to get down on the floor with my children), lots of cleaning (Eemah can quietly clean and play with the children all day long--it's amazing) and, well, lots of meltdowns.  I am grateful for many, many things, one of them is the understanding and love that enveloped my intense little boy.  It is tough to be sensitive, three, and have the routine altered in your house.  Eemah and Babba did not judge, just showed him lots of patience and love. 

And a Thanksgiving meal got cooked, the first Sunday of Advent was greeted with two very special people. 

Mary's Star Path

Today Advent starts.  I love, love, love Advent, but I did lay in a goodly supply of Rescue Remedy, because I can tend to go into overdrive, and forget about actually enjoying it, ignoring my children's requests for attention while I do whatever I have in mind that needs to be done....

This year, our church did not have their traditional wreath making, so we had to make our own.  It was fun.  Pea and Dumpling go baskets of greenery, and we made our own wreath, lit the candle, and the children negotiated a deal where tonight Dumpling blew out the candle, and tomorrow Pea.  .

Also, I have been working on Mary's star path, a non gifty kind of Advent Calendar, because I am not organized or disciplined enough to do the traditional kind. I needle felted two Marys and a Joseph, because I knew that Pea would want a set to play with, and I have to admit, I was feeling pretty pleased with my mad skills as a needle felter, until Pea, at age five, with no coaching, made Jesus in the manger. Not bad for a five year old. But, I am still pretty fond of the Mary's, particularly the little one. And now I am realizing that at the end of the season (I have to keep working on the Mary Star Path set to add as the season progresses) we will be the proud owners of four Nativity Sets...in a very small house. Anyway, here is Mary's Star Path.

I love Advent.

(Also, we had a wonderful Thanksgiving with Eemah and Babba and I have some pictures to post here about that soon.)

Thanksgiving

So I am really, really tired. I spent yesterday getting ready for Thanksgiving--I woke up, fed the kids, cut up a squash and a pumpkin(that we grew), got the seeds ready to roast, drained the pumpkin flesh a little bit, and made cranberry sauce.  Then I had to go to the store to get food, not for Thanksgiving, but you know, the everyday kind that you have to feed your family at least three times a day.  And then it was lunch and then pie making--two pies, from scratch.  In there was some silver polishing and table linen considerations.

And today there was the turkey, and stuffing, and mashed potatoes and squash and kale salad.  (And a terrible aphid infestation on the kale to be dealt with) and gravy.  And table setting and cleaning and washing dishes to make room for more cooking.    And sometimes, as I am wandering through the supermarket, I wonder why I am doing this--there are frozen pie crusts, and canned fillings, and stuffing, and gravy, and it really doesn't have to be so much work.  Obviously, it wouldn't taste as good, but that is not the reason that I don't want to do it that way.  It's the work and preparation that makes the event fun. It's like that with everything.  Real pleasure comes from work.  And I hope my children can see that.

And now, as I listen to my lovely mother-in-law cracking my children up as she bathes them, I am so content.

Sleeping Places

So, we have a new camera, and I spent a little time trying to figure out how to download the pictures, but I failed.  Some of the equipment may be in the grown-up bedroom, where Dumpling is sound asleep.  If you are a bed-sharing family, you may think you are done bed-sharing when your two year old eagerly heads to his or her own bed every night for a few months, and your five year old does not even need your presence anymore to fall asleep, but you are not.  Suddenly, one or both of them is back, wanting, needing to sleep with Mama.  I suppose I could fight it, and insist that they sleep in their own beds, but I don't.  If I can nurture and comfort them just by sleeping next to them, I am down. And anyway, soon it will change again, and off they'll go to their little beds with a kiss and a cuddle (well, and a bazillion stories).  But now I get to gaze at their little sleeping faces, and smooth their hair and feel content.  And read them a bazillion stories.  Mostly I like that too.

Valerie's Room

This is Valerie's room.  Valerie is one of Pea's two favorite dolls. The other is a Waldorf doll named Buttercup Anne.  Pea talks about them like they are her children.   Notice the hammock in which Valerie is sleeping (It's a baby bonnet my mom knitted for Pea a ways back) and the block basket.   She set it up in our living room.  It was so cute.  Now it's in her closet.  Even cuter, but dark.

And really, why would I buy this child a ton of toys?  She doesn't need them and makes her own. 

Cold Season

We are all in various stages of nasty head colds around here.  Pea had hers forever, but is finally feeling better although she still has the goopiest cough, and Dumpling is miserable.  His nose is snotty, his voice sounds funny, and he too is hacking.  And demanding medicine.  Which, besides tea with a lot of honey, lemon and ginger, I can't give him.  And I feel sort of helpless.

So I made chicken soup tonight.  Not really because I thought either child would eat it, but it made me feel like I was doing something to fight the vile sickness.  I always make stock after we roast a chicken(we get ours at our Tailgate Market), and freeze it in Mason jars, which most of the time do not break.  And then I make soup, which our kids refuse to eat for the most part (unless there is sausage in it.)  But tonight, they ate it. (I offered nothing else.  Haha!)  Pea even asked for a cup of broth, plain, and drank it all up.  I have such a virtuous Mama feeling now.

Here's how I make stock:
I cut up an onion or two, as much celery as I have on hand-the leafy part is the best, two or three carrots, and any kale stems I have, throw them in with the very picked over chicken carcass and maybe some of the juice from the cooking, put about 10 cups of water (okay, I made that up--I just fill the stockpot up maybe 2/3 full--it doesn't really matter) and, the most important thing, according to Cynthia Lair (Feeding the Whole Family) is some brown rice vinegar (or whatever vinegar I have on hand-apple cider, white, probably not balsamic though) because that is supposed to helps release the minerals from the chicken bones, and you know, minerals are good for you. (This isn't very scientific, but it appears that people should have calcium).  I usually crush some garlic and then put that sucker on to boil, then leave it on low for a long, long time--usually overnight.  Then I strain it, and pour it into my beloved Mason jars. Sometimes I put them overnight in the fridge and try to skim the fat off when it cools, but usually I just stick them straight in the freezer.  And if I do it right, and don't fill them too full, even if it means using an extra Mason jar, the Mason jars don't break.

And then, when my children and/or husband is sick, I can whip it out of the freezer and make a mean chicken soup which my children will (might) eat and I will feel like I have done something to make them feel a little better.

Dessert Night and a Yarn Along of Sorts

Wednesday night is dessert night around here.  (I still remember how to spell dessert by remembering that you want more dessert so dessert has two esses....)  It's kind of fun.  Lately, pumpkin has been the theme as I finally cut open this absolutely huge and totally beautiful pumpkin and cooked it, and got about four quarts of pumpking puree.  I think the pumpking was called musque d'orsay--it was a cheese pumpkin, the vines of which were extremely long and put down roots every foor or so.  The vines stayed totally healthy, but I either planted it too late or put too much compost down, because only two reached full size before the frost (although there were many baby pumpkins--it was totally heartbreaking.)  We made pumpkin cake--I kind of fudged the recipe--I think it called for three eggs, but we ended up with five because Dumpling really, really likes cracking eggs.   It turned out really well, and I wish I had it but I tend to fudge things and then not know how to make them again.

Jesse has ordered a cord for the camera, and even a new, better camera, so soon there will be pictures here, but I just thought I would report on what I am knitting right now.  I have three projects on the needles, which feels about right.  One is a pink hippo for Pea's Christmas--it has to be top secret and only knitted when she is not around or asleep, but it is coming along.  I have the head and body, one ear and the beginning of an arm.  And then I have a sweater in very chunky varigated green and blue yarn for Dumpling, as he was sure that the sweater I finally finished for Pea was for him, and an elf hat for Pea, in, yes, pink.  I will put pictures up here when I actually have a way to put the pictures on the camera up here.  Soon.  I am going all high-tech. 

My job

The day started so badly.  First off, I went to sleep way too late last night--I got a book out of the library "to see if Pea would like it," and read the whole thing (it was a chapter book).  She wouldn't have, which was apparent from the second chapter--it's more of a young adult novel, really.  But, did I stop?  No, I had to read the entire thing.  I do love young people's literature. 

Then, apparently Dumpling crumpled up one of Pea's creations, which although certainly frustrating for her, I had to sympathize with Dumpling, as her creation was a toilet paper tube with toilet paper taped to it, left out on the dining room table.  I am fairly certain that he did not do it maliciously.   And when she discovered it, there were a lot of tears and shouted demands of "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"  To which, unsurprisingly, the three year old boy did not respond well.  And frankly, I did not use empathy.  I just couldn't do it.  I told Pea that he didn't understand and there was no point in shouting at him.  Then I ignored it, and gave her some breakfast.   

And then suddenly the shouting and tears were over and they were off, playing hard that their room was a barn on fire, and throwing their stuffed animals and dolls out the window, and running around and yelling various firefighter kind of things until it was time for Pea to go to school. 

On the way home from dropping Pea off, Dumpling said, out of the blue, "I love my sister.  I am glad she is my sister." 

Sometimes my job is just to feed them and let them figure it out on their own, I guess.

Needle-felting Class with Pea

Lately, I have been feeling really, really sad about how fast my children seem to be growing up.  Dumpling has, with the exception of nursing, completely left babyhood, and even toddlerhood behind, and Pea is going to have loose teeth and perhaps go to school all day away from me really soon.  And, hard as it can be, having small children seems just so wonderful that I don't want to leave it behind. 

But yesterday, Pea and I went to a needle felting Santa class.  I made this:

And Pea made this.  (She wasn't really a member of the class, but she really wanted to come.)

It was great fun.  It was a two hour class, and although Pea wasn't up to making a Santa all by herself, she was engaged for the entire two plus hour class, helping me poke, using the instructor's carders to mix red and white roving to make pink, and sharing it with all the other grown-ups in the class, making suggestions about how each Santa should look, and eventually coming up with the idea to make a Christmas tree, and doing it. 

And last year, maybe even six months ago, there is no way that Pea could have done that.  She would have gotten bored, or disruptive, and we would have had to leave early, or I would have just had to leave her with Jesse along with Dumpling.  But now she is totally up for that kind of a thing.  I didn't go to the needle felting class for her, I went for me.  But it was even better to be able to have her there, and to learn and do something together, which we both have a real interest in.  It was kind of exciting, and although we may be leaving early childhood behind, we are surely entering something new and exciting too. 

And I look forward to seeing them grow up, and learning together and sharing more.  It is an exciting adventure.

(I still feel sad about them growing up though.)

On "hiking" with children

We are settling into a new Saturday rhythm now that the local Tailgate Market is over for the season.  We have been going out to breakfast at Louise's, a sweet little breakfast place right in downtown Black Mountain.  It is housed in one of the town's older houses, and they have herbs and vegetables growing all around it, which is, of course, very exciting to me.  Anyway, it's good and not too expensive and local and the coffee is good and it is fun. 

Then we go for a hike.  And Jesse and I have discovered the secret to hiking with (our) children.  It is this: just go somewhere that is already high and walk along the ridgeline. Because, unless the hike is very short, we are not going to make it to the top and see the view.  Five minutes in to the hike, and our kids have things to do and explore that do not have to do with making tracks down the trail. Today, we went up to Ridgecrest.  The trailhead starts with a huge scenic overlook, and you can see the mountains overlapping eachother for miles.  Then we set off down the trail, and walked for, at the very most, ten minutes.  Then Pea plumped down, and began work on her fairy village, which she worked at for a good forty-five minutes, while her brother found sticks, explaining that they were his guns (we watch no TV except for the occasional Caillou on YouTube when Dumpling has not napped) and that he was going to kill the monster.  Dumpling and I walked a little bit farther, and saw a woodpecker, and then Jesse made a little foray.  All in all, it was a great morning.  We got to see a view, and our kids played in the woods. 

Adendum

Pea is currently cuddled up next to me, feeling "Beauty Mark" (Hairy mole on my left arm that she developed a fondness for when she stopped nursing at 22 months).  Even big girl five year olds need  to be little. 

The memory of an elephant

I just put Pea to bed.  (Dumpling skipped his nap and was asleep by 6:15.)  Even though it is not terribly late, she is still overwrought, calling me in for water and to ask me weepily whatever happened to the paper we made in a super-crowded museum in Minnesota in MARCH.  (We left it to dry, then it was time to leave, and we forgot and left it there.) Or what ever happened to her hippo blanket (a pink fleece blanket that we lost track of at least a year ago.)  The fact is, the child never forgets.  Right now, there is "cake batter" that she made yesterday ALL by herself that I am just going to have to bake up, although I would really prefer it if she forgot it.  It promises to be fairly inedible. But if I don't bake it, sure as the sun rises tomorrow, she will remember it and remind me that I did, indeed tell her I would.  So I will.   Oops, I hear her again.  Sweet, tired girl.

Painted Poetry

So, I really want to homeschool the children next year.  I really do.  (I also want to have another baby, get chickens, expand the garden and preserve more food).  Right now they are at a lovely little Montessori school, in the same class.  Pea goes five days a week from 8:30 to 12:00, and Dumpling goes three days, same time.

And, sometimes I feel really panicky, like I must start teaching and showing myself that I can do it, and I start to nag Pea--let's play with your moveable alphabet, let's write a letter, etc, etc.  It sometimes, but doesn't always work.  But if I sit down and start writing a letter myself, which, I must confess, rarely happens, she will inevitably join the party.  The other day, I remembered how I used to decorate my classroom with words--I would find poetry that I liked, write it somewhat fancily in permanent marker on watercolor paper, and then paint over it.   I decided to try to make something like that for our nature table for Thanksgiving, and so I found a Thanksgiving poem, and copied it and painted it in fall colors.  And guess what--the kids were so into it.  We ended up painting over several poems of their choosing for their room, and then Pea dictated her own poem to me, which she then painted over:

Hendersonville Happiness

Morning sun
lights the ditches,
beautiful sunshine
lights up the
beauty of the world.

Not bad for a five year old.  And she is writing.  I am satisfied.

I am writing this while Jesse takes the kids out to ice cream.  Last night he promised Pea that if she didn't laugh when he blew a rasberry on her armpit, he would get her an ice cream.  Silly man.  With our genes, you would think he would know that she would be up to almost any challenge for ice cream.

So,  Dumpling is pretty much back in our bed again.  Which is cool.  I like having his little warm body next to mine.  And actually, I kind of remember that at three, Pea came back to our bed again for a good while too.  I remember sleeping with both of their little bodies cuddled up next to mine--it was fall, as well, and it was so cozy. 

What is less cool, although kind of cute, is that Dumpling, although totally capable of using the potty(well, keeping himself and the house dry) during the day, still needs a diaper during the night.  However, now that he is accustomed to being dry and not having a big, warm cloth diaper on, he does not want to wear it.  Last night Dumpling woke up and told me, very seriously, "Mommy, this is not going to work.  My penis is not going to work."  And he took off his pajamas.  And, lo and behold, he wet the bed.  Honestly, Jesse was sleeping upstairs, and it is a big bed, and so  we just slept out the night huddled on the other side of the bed,  It's kind of gross, but you have got to do what you have got to do, especially when you have a three year old who has decided that he again needs to nurse at night.  And, if I knew how to do it, here would be a picture of the quilts and sheets out on the line.  I even took it, but, well, issues with the cord, etc. 

We had a nice, quiet weekend.  This Saturday was the first Saturday after the end of the lovely local Tailgate Market, where you will find us every Saturday morning May through October.  And, although we miss it, it was kind of nice to be able to decide what we want to do on a Saturday.  (What we wanted to do was go out to Louise's, a local place to eat in downtown Black Mountain, that we have hereby declared our MOST favorite place for breakfast.)  Then, we cleaned house for a while, which stinks and I always want to wait for bad weather, but it turns out in the mountains of NC in the fall, there is no bad weather. 

Then, yard work.  Well, garden work.  Pea helped me with the strawberry beds.  I am sternly keeping them to two beds.  That's all.  BUT, Pea, a business woman at heart, was a little disappointed that my plans for next year's hopefully plentiful strawberry crop is NOT to sell them, but to, well, eat them, and maybe make some jam.  She requested a small space that could be fenced off, so she could grow her own strawberries to sell.  Luckily, we have big plans for our house and property (all .4 acres.)  We are going to build a better fence (chickens-to come, and privacy) and rip out all of the rotten English Ivy along our property, and, plant rasberries, apple trees, and apparently, strawberries for Pea.  I am so, so, so excited.   

Also, as both children were squabbling over the one child sized wheelbarrow, Jesse and I decided to get one more, as children's gardening is always to be encouraged.  It was fun to watch both of them filling them with leaves, and dumping them on their own little sections of the garden.   They do get tired of taking care of their gardens mid summer, but spring and fall, they are INTO it.  And they really do have the most amazing understanding of how plants grow. 

The next day was taken up mostly with church related activities.  Pea and Jesse went to church, Pea wearing her new, beautiful church coat and hat from Grammy, a beautiful dress, and her old, beat up, dirty sneakers.  Dumpling stayed home so he could nap, as Daylight Savings Time ending has rocked his little world.  Then and afternoon Sunday School/church dinner, and then two overwrought and exhausted(end of Daylight Savings Time again)  children went to bed after lots of stories.

I am getting into this blogging thing.  I do like to write, and I like to write for imaginary audiences. I don't want to forget or lose this (as I would a journal.) It helps.  I wish I had a camera.  I wish that I could know how to upload pictures from my camera (I am almost positive that that is the right way to put it.)  As I walk through the house, trying to clean it up a little, and really trying to think about organization, I find dolls put to bed--in the living room, in my place on our bed, and in the laundry room.   Pea is a very concientious mother.  She really only has two beloved dolls--others come and go, but Valerie and Buttercup Anne are the constants.  She also cares for Harry, Dumpling's doll, as Dumpling is, at three, kind of young to be a mother.  (Although talking about his new cousin Ellie, Dumpling said that he was going to kiss her and hug her gently, and also nurse her.  More on that later.)  She brought Valerie with us to Earthfare the other day--Buttercup Anne doesn't like shopping so she stayed home.  And she and Dumpling used the bathroom (I held Valerie) then Valerie's diaper had to be changed, on the changing table.  She has so many stories about her children and her techniques for soothing them and nursing them and wearing them and not wearing them.  I am utterly charmed.  And I know this, like Dumpling's extreme contrariness, will pass.  But I love it while it's here.

Also, I have just been reading this wonderful blog,  http://talkfeeleez.typepad.com/, and it is making me think.  She talks about empathy for our children, and avoiding praise, and I love it.  She doesn't believe in punishment--I don't either, really, although sometimes I lose it and seem to.   Also, she posted a video clip of her talking to her three year old about why she liked to nurse.  It was funny--the little girl had the same chubby cheeks as Dumpling.  They kind of looked alike, like maybe nursing does something that makes three year olds look particularly cute...anyway, it calmed me down.  It is okay to be nursing still.  It is unusual, but it is not damaging or gross.  I don't know when the little man will be ready to stop nursing, but he will.  And then I will miss it, I suppose.

Halloween

In our small town, which is geographically fairly large, but with a small population, trick or treating happens on one block right near the very small downtown.  And it has grown, so that literally thousands of people come from all over to trick or treat on this block.  The people who live there spend hundreds of dollars on candy, and I don't know how much on decorations.  When Pea was a baby, and didn't really care about Halloween, it was kind of fun.  People go all out--the parents and children are dressed up, the lawn displays are incredible, and there is a sort of festival atmosphere. 

Every year I have liked it less.  The decorations are scary and overwhelming.  I feel like I am going to lose track of my children.  Dumpling went to about five houses before he was done, declaring that he had "enough candy."  Luckily, both kids learned this very sweet song at Montessori pre-school, about how the ghosts and goblins, witches and bats were just silly costumes for Halloween, and would break into the song upon seeing an adult in a scary costume. 

I remember setting out in my neighborhood to trick or treat, and it was so deliciously spooky without being too much.  All the houses had homemade jack-o-lanterns, and it was so much fun to go to all those houses in the dark, to see a few other costumed children out trick or treating, and then to come back home to see our own jack-o-lanterns burning, my father passing out candy, and to look through the candy bag and take off my costume and go to bed.   And, although I may be too nostalgic, I think it was better than the totally wild, over the top Halloween that is happening here.  And I want to declare that next year we are going to stay in the neighborhood (we always go to our neighbors, who buy candy just for the few children in the neighborhood.)  Maybe we will have a bonfire, and I can make candy to pass out, and it will be simpler and sweeter.  I don't want to have to get into a car to drive anywhere.  I want one of us to be able to stay home and pass out candy.  Pea may object, but I think she will have fun.

And at some point, I am going to figure out how to actually post pictures here, and then I could post some of their cute costumes.  Soon, soon.

Discipline and Halloween

I have read, and believe, that it is important to find the positive motivation behind children's misbehavior.  If your daughter throws a fit because she can't have pumpkin bread, it's important to acknowledge her frustration and feeling of unfairness that her brother got one and she did not, while not allowing her to necessarily have that pumpkin bread. This really resonates with me--I am, in general, interested in why people do things.  Generally, I think there is always a reason for misbehavior, even with adults, and although it doesn't excuse it, it is helpful to know.

 Sometimes, this is totally easy and second nature, like when Dumpling ripped up Pea's puzzle box up after helping his daddy take down boxes for recycling.  Other times, probably when it is more important to find that positive motivation, it is really hard, like when Dumpling slapped his sister in the face when she grabbed his hands in excitement about Halloween, and I totally fail to even try to find the motivation, and send him to his room and tell him that he can't go trick or treating if he comes out before I tell him too.  Hmmmm....looking back, I can see that he probably misinterpreted his sister's intentions, or just didn't want her to hold his hands at that point, and lacked the words to say it.  But at that moment, I was stuck, partly because he had just hit someone I love, and partly because I love him and am shocked at this behavior.  Jesse always says that you have to focus on being a good enough parent, and I need to remember that, but it is hard when you do something you don't want to.  I love these little people so much and I want to do it RIGHT, gosh darn it.  I wish I had some massive insight, but I don't.  This parenting gig is kind of hard.

I also want to post about Halloween and how I want to do it totally differently next year, and of course put pictures up of the children in their adorable, totally obviously homemade (by a non-perfectionsist, non sewer kind of mama) and adored costumes.  But I have go to go finish putting leaves down around the garden to subtly increase it's size.  I MUST have more....

I had both kids home today.  Pea was completely exhausted and overwrought from Halloween, and Dumpling doesn't go on Tuesdays.  It was uneventful but lovely.  We went to Earthfare (the healthy grocery store in Asheville), and had a late breakfast, then shopped.  Earthfare has those little carts for the kids to push, which in the past I have moaned and groaned about, but today they had such a good time that it was worth it.  It did make the shopping trip go longer, but it was fun, and it wore them out, which is always good.  Dumpling fell asleep on the way back, and Pea listened to some Sparkle stories while I tried to restore order in the chaos that had arisen, again, from Halloween.  Then we did some minor art projects-I made a kitty pirate sewing card for Dumpling, with which he was totally delighted, and he actually sat and sewed with it for a while before he smeared it and himself with glue and paint.  Pea painted and drew, then a bath for both of them as Dumpling was covered with glue and paint.  To be honest, the bath didn't do much--Pea was following him around for the rest of the day trying to peel it off of him.  I threw together some soup for dinner later, then it was time for Pea's violin lesson.  Dumpling plays with Pea's friend on the playground while Pea and I go in, then we play for a while after.  I love violin day--I love the strictness and warmth of her violin teacher, I love getting to watch, and I love that she is learning to make music.  I love that she loves it, and looks forward to it.  Afterwards, they played on the playground, managed to work out their squabbles, and I cast on for Dumpling's sweater.  I feel better with at least two interesting projects on the needles...typically, I like the beginnings of things.

Anyway, it is lucky that I am writing for myself, as the minutiae of our day is not particularly compelling, however, I just do love having them home together.  I love the unhurridness and flow of our days together.  I just like having them around.