On Monday, Elsa and I had a terrible day. She was unusually grumpy, defiant, and I was frustrated and impatient, angry that she should be defying me. Tuesday looked to be not too much better, and I was so frustrated and exhausted by her. And then, after Elsa's violin lesson (where I got scolded for bringing David, because he gets so upset lately when I leave him), we went to the playground. The weather was crazy warm, and I was looking forward to sitting and watching them play while I worked on David's sweater. Somehow, I have been feeling like I have no time, and have spent all my spare moments cleaning or frustrated about the mess. But she kept wanting me to help her--down the fire pole, on the swing. My first instinct was to tell her to go play with David, that I needed to just sit for a little bit, but I am happy to say I didn't. I took the time to be encouraging, and she actually figured out how to go down all by herself. Then, and I am not sure how, I ended up sitting on the ground, holding her, and playing different games with her in my arms. I think I held her for at least thirty minutes--and there is something so delicious about holding her. She is getting so big and strong, but she still feels like my baby, and all the difficulties and frustrations totally faded away. She is my sweet child, and I love her so, so much.
And somehow, that physical reconnection has smoothed things out between us. I am not sure if it is because she is just more co-operative, or if it is because I am more willing to pause, and think about things from her perspective, and be more gentle and respectful in my requests. Or possibly a bit of both. But it is amazing and I am grateful, and I do love my girl.
No comments:
Post a Comment