Discipline and Halloween

I have read, and believe, that it is important to find the positive motivation behind children's misbehavior.  If your daughter throws a fit because she can't have pumpkin bread, it's important to acknowledge her frustration and feeling of unfairness that her brother got one and she did not, while not allowing her to necessarily have that pumpkin bread. This really resonates with me--I am, in general, interested in why people do things.  Generally, I think there is always a reason for misbehavior, even with adults, and although it doesn't excuse it, it is helpful to know.

 Sometimes, this is totally easy and second nature, like when Dumpling ripped up Pea's puzzle box up after helping his daddy take down boxes for recycling.  Other times, probably when it is more important to find that positive motivation, it is really hard, like when Dumpling slapped his sister in the face when she grabbed his hands in excitement about Halloween, and I totally fail to even try to find the motivation, and send him to his room and tell him that he can't go trick or treating if he comes out before I tell him too.  Hmmmm....looking back, I can see that he probably misinterpreted his sister's intentions, or just didn't want her to hold his hands at that point, and lacked the words to say it.  But at that moment, I was stuck, partly because he had just hit someone I love, and partly because I love him and am shocked at this behavior.  Jesse always says that you have to focus on being a good enough parent, and I need to remember that, but it is hard when you do something you don't want to.  I love these little people so much and I want to do it RIGHT, gosh darn it.  I wish I had some massive insight, but I don't.  This parenting gig is kind of hard.

I also want to post about Halloween and how I want to do it totally differently next year, and of course put pictures up of the children in their adorable, totally obviously homemade (by a non-perfectionsist, non sewer kind of mama) and adored costumes.  But I have go to go finish putting leaves down around the garden to subtly increase it's size.  I MUST have more....