This new pregnancy

I am excited and grateful and hopeful about this new pregnancy.  I want (and have wanted) this last baby so badly.  And this fall, I added a lot of space to the garden.  I am so excited to have a big garden, and get chicks really soon, and plant raspberry bushes.  But right now I feel awful and exhausted.   Today I was thinking I could go ahead and start getting the spring bed ready for peas and greens and maybe potatoes, but I stayed in my pajamas all day, and literally have not gone outside (it's kind of cold), while my darling husband not only took the kids but also did several errands for me to the health food store for ginger ale and B complex vitamins(those actually did the trick.)  He is taking them out to dinner now.  I don't feel like eating.  And my good friend Vicky took Elsa for a long while for a play date while David napped, so Jesse could spend a little time trying to buy a new car.  Our 2000 Camry was stolen out of our driveway a while back.

As Elsa and David have gotten bigger, I have had more space in my life for other interests.  When I was pregnant with David, I started a teeny tiny garden where I grew maybe three tomato plants, and eggplant, a summer squash and some lettuce.  It was some kind of nesting instinct.  An now I have a much bigger garden (which I love), and a boxful of seeds, and  a lot of hope that I will feel better soon and that I will get my garden planted.  And I hope that I can let go a little, and let my parents and husband help me.  And I also hope that I can let go, and be okay with everything not working out as I planned, and enjoy this last pregnancy.  But right now I feel sick...and a lot of things are going to have to go.